#1

Memory loss sucks. Plain and simple. We don't event know what it is, just yet. But it's there. It's SO there.

There have been signs - lots of them - for awhile now. But we're just starting to get to the helpless-feeling point. I'm sure it'll get worse, but here's where we are now.

Mom (undiagnosed - her first eval is in two weeks) is currently en route from Tx to Fl for her 50th high school reunion. Houston to Tampa is a drive she's made many, many times over the past 40 or so years. She could probably do it in her sleep (and likely better - in her sleep - than in her current condition). She insisted that she was fine to do it, so we let her.

Mistake? I don't know. But while she still knows what's going on I can't control her life.

So here I sit, 9:49 pm on a Tuesday night. My kids have been in bed for two hours. I should be relaxing with some trashy TV and a glass of wine, and I'm nervous because Mom's phone is dead and I know she's on the road. (The wine part is still accurate.)

I sent a text to my sister that said "this is what it's like to have a newly-driving teenager, isn't it?" - to which she responded "yes, however at least you can ground a teenager for not responding to a call/text."

Great. Point.

I can't punish my mom. I can't tell her what to do. I can't explain to her that we're worried that something might happen. That she'll be stranded on the side of the road, confused and alone. Not able to call us because her phone is freaking dead. (Note to self: get that woman a car charger, stat.)

I wish this was the first time this has happened. She left my house in NC after Christmas year before last and didn't think she needed to communicate her whereabouts. I all but put a missing person report out with the state when I couldn't reach her.

Anyway. I'm using this as an outlet and to document instances, outcomes and my own emotions.

I am the sandwich generation.